seriously could he be more handsome?!
and Yes the sunglasses were to hide my tears!
Yesterday was Cole's first day of school. The program that he is in is an all day program. Basically in the morning he gets some extra support working in small groups and then in the afternoon he goes to his kindergarten class.
I am happy to report that his first day went well, really well actually. He was happy all afternoon and this morning he didn't fight me at all to get ready and go. I hope this continues. I can see that he is really growing up. We went to Dairy Queen after school to get some blizzards. As we were sitting there he goes "hey mom there is this one kid named Maddie." I asked if he liked him and he said "no it is a girl." To some this may seem like no big deal, but when your child has had speech delay and has been delayed on the social communication this is HUGE! Just out of the blue talking to me about his classmates. I love it. Cole has made so much progress and it is fun to see it.
So for me yesterday was a pretty emotional day. I cried the night before he went to school and then on and off all day yesterday. I know that might sound dramatic, but it isn't just that Cole is gone all day. It is a combination of emotions that I am feeling. When you do so much all day for your children, the activities, appts, taking care of their every need, and having them with you all the time to all the sudden having them gone is just weird! You think you want freedom (which I am not going to lie, it is nice to clean without guilt of not paying attention, go to the store without them whining about wanting something etc.) but once they are gone it is like now what? It is an end of a stage, that when it comes you don't know if you are ready to let go. I think of Cole's birth mother in times like these, I thought I would have more children and wouldn't be wondering how to fill my time already, and you wonder if you took every opportunity to enjoy the moments as much as you should have etc.
I know this will be good for Cole, and I wouldn't really want to go back. It is good to move forward. It is just going to take some getting used to. I want to switch some hours around at work, volunteer at his school, go regularly to the Temple, and do some projects around the house.
